As a local association board member, I've heard things all season. Negative things. About coaches, about parents, about players, about refs, about the league in general, about the pressure placed on these barely 9 & 10 year olds throughout a state qualifying season. I've contributed to the hype, discussed the pressures at length, observed the coaches - all in order to get a realistic grasp of the situation - to help us move forward in the right direction for these players.

I had my eye on 2 teams in particular - being a player's mom at game one, and a supporter of her male classmates at game two. All my visions came together in one evening of play. Parents, misc. family members, friends, and classmates turned out for the big games. There were spectators from all walks of spectatorship - the less affected car sitters, quiet nail biters in the background, the bleacher hounds, the lawn furniture junkies, to the sideline runners (in U10s I like to call them "the 9th player") - all with these things in common - the love of a player, the love of a game, and a desire to witness a good soccer match. The coaching staffs of all 4 teams behaved in a rational manner as far as I could see or hear. Were voices raised? You bet. Were players sternly instructed? You bet. Were players beat down publicly for poor play? I think not.

The games were intense - from the first kick-off to the final whistle. I watched kids I'd seen play occasionally all season play like I'd never seen them play before. Run faster, kick harder, pass better, shoot more often - and the keepers for all 4 teams were on their game. There were ooh's and aah's from both sets of spectators throughout both games. Elated cheers for goals shot, as well as goals scored. Positive comments from opposing spectators when the other team made a good move, good shot, good defensive play. Very generous, very mature, very sportsman-like.

Over the course of the evening, I mingled through the 4 sets of spectators. I talked to people, heard things. Sure, there's some strife amongst teams, some parents don't get along so well, some had specific coaching complaints, some even had a negative comment or two regarding certain players. This is human nature, folks. If we all saw everything the same way, if we all kept our mouth shut about our differences, progress would end. The fact is, these were comments said in private or in confidence - not screamed at the players, coaches, refs, or each other along the sidelines. And if there were parents present yelling negatively at their kids for any reason, they were surely drowned out by the many cumulative, much louder, very supportive comments vocalized all evening long.

So the games ended, as all good things must. There were winners and losers, as all legitimate competitive matches must have. Loser is not a dirty word - it's a fact of life from date of birth to last breath.

After the first game, a jubilant winning crowd rushed out to greet their players in tunnel fashion. Parents of the losing team joined in the tunnel, but their dejected little team was oblivious to the excitement. They dragged back to their bench in disappointment. Some were hanging close to each other, some were off away from the bench in tears. Within seconds their supporters were at their side, patting them on the back, touching them on the shoulder, hugging them tight, and repeating over and over how well they'd played, how they had nothing to be ashamed of, how they tried their hardest, how they played their best game of the season, and the praise went on and on - not just from a few good parents - from many - and not just directed at their own child - but to other members of the team, making certain no child was left out of the sharing.

Game two was just as hard fought, just as hard won, and just as hard lost as the first - going through 2 overtime halves and then to PKs. In this instance, the PKs went to the 8th player - tied 1-1 after the first 5. The 8th player. The last player on the field the coach expects to put one in the net. The player knows it, the team knows it, the parents know it. And for the winning team, he was the man of the hour. How wonderful is that? For the losing team, 7 players feel bad, commiserate with each other about goals missed at school the next day. They lost as a team, they'll survive as a team. But for that 8th player ... well ... there's no way to know what he will go on to accomplish due directly to the chain of events that led up to his game saving shot. It was one of those once-in-a-life-time defining moments created so often in the sport of soccer for kids exactly like this one.

At the end of this second game, there was the same jubilant winning crowd as with the first. The same dejected, disheartened shuffle of the losing team - and yes, even though these were boys - the same tears. The same parents patting on the back, consoling, hugging - the same thoughtfulness including all players in sharing the loss and the verbal assurances it was a game well played.

If this was a case of parents living through their children, then I am enlightened, even optimistic. In living through their children these parents provided encouragement, demanded the best their child had to offer, and followed up with the support they received - or wish they had received - as children in the same situation. It was something to witness, in which to take part - that's for sure.

The winners take home the obvious - the knowledge they did their best, achieved a goal, and have more camaraderie to look forward to with their team and their families - the camaraderie soccer so handily provides.

And the losers? Wow. They received important necessary life lessons. They learned how to take a detrimental hit as a team. They learned their friends are still their friends - win or lose. They learned their families love them whole heartedly - no matter what happens. They learned the respect they receive from their coaches is not only still in tact - but even stronger after this loss. They learned they can work harder and expect more of themselves than they ever knew possible before this night. They learned life goes on. These lessons are timeless - certainly ageless.

No one likes to see a child in tears - but was it pressure? That's a highly ambiguous, abstract word. Or was it the let down after an hour of sheer adrenaline and physical exertion beyond normal limits or personal expectations? Yes, players this age want to win for several reasons - many want to please their parents, their coaches - but I saw a distinct light in the eyes of these players over the course of the two games. No one - child or adult - plays that hard for that long with that much determination, unless they are doing it ultimately for themselves, for the sake of their team.

The players of all 4 teams, their families, and their coaches showed a passion for excellence, a passion for setting lofty goals knowing they risk failure, and ultimately a passion for life that all too many of us have forgotten. This is the passion of which dreams are made, the passion that drives world class children to go on to achieve world class accomplishments as adults in many fields, the passion that allows us to move beyond a failure and set our next goal. And I believe it's the same passion that drives 1,600 kids to participate in a program of which I am so proud and thankful to have had a small part in making happen this season.

As for the so called losing teams of last night? Well, I know most of the players from both teams pretty well ... I suspect they'll share a few moments in school today, and be over it by the time the last bell rings. They have a City Tournament to win. Undoubtedly, undauntedly ... they're going for it!!

Update: One of the teams in the above article won 2 games and lost 1 in their city tournament division - not enough to get them a semi-final game, but certainly a respectable showing! And the other team? Took home the championship hardware in their division!