The athlete, the parent(s) and the coach make a critical threesome. A breakdown in cooperation or communication on the part of any one of the three and there can be disaster.

Let's look at what a coach can do under normal circumstances to make this experience a positive and productive one for the athlete as well as the parents.

I. Be aware that all families are different and their motives for the child being in sports varies. Some parents want the child to have a social experience while others want the child to develop talent. The list of reasons can be very long. For example, the parents may want the child to learn discipline, become a star, learn to think for himself, etc. It might be valuable if the coach gives a brief questionnaire to the parents asking specifically what they want their child to get from the experience.

2. Include the parents as part of the team. This is not to say they should help with the coaching but you can have a meeting of the parents to acquaint yourself with them while they are becoming acquainted with you. To meet someone personally breaks down the potential for being prejudiced. You may want to develop a newsletter to stay in constant contact. Giving the parents a telephone call at least once during the season makes them feel important as well as being part of the team. As a parent, you want to feel secure with someone leading your child in something as important as athletics. A coach contacting the parents can reassure that.

3. Make the parents feel important by knowing what parents belong to what child. What are the parents' names? How frequently do they come to the games? Do they follow the progress of their child? It is impressive when you know the child, the parents and a little about each one. The parents not only feel more secure but supportive of the coach.

4. Contact all the parents one at a time at least once during the season and let them know something about their child and how the child is progressing. Ask if they have any questions or suggestions to help you become more effective.

5. Have a special parents' day or parents recognition day so that the child and his/her parents can be identified and recognized. This will not only make the child feel important, but the parents as well. The athletes need to know one another's parents as well as the parents knowing one another. Team cohesion and strong support is often the result.

6. Let it be known that you have an open door policy, meaning that any parent can call you at any time if there is a problem and you will be willing to talk to them.