Over the past couple of years, I have started a "system" of teaching the parents that I work with (because you get not only a team of players to coach but a team of parents!) 'How to' behave and treat their players so that these players will desire to progress and keep playing.

Now I am passing that along to the coaches that I work with and now you. Hopefully it will help someone out there.

Parent/Player meeting: This is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing that a coach can do during his season. · Set out expectations immediately for all player and parent behavior. · We WILL respect the referees, our opponents and ourselves. · Let the parents know that any breach of this tenement will result in reduced playing time for their player-- whether it is the player or the parent that is causing the problem. Now, after going through all of the other necessities at your meeting (what to bring to practice, when are practices etc.) have the parents play a short game of soccer among themselves. While they are stretching or warming up for a moment, take the children aside and privately tell them to stand on the opposite sideline and ACT JUST LIKE THEIR PARENTS DO DURING A GAME.

You may have to encourage them a bit to get into it, but they will usually take this golden opportunity by the horns and go for it. So now we have the parents playing for 5-10 minutes with the children screaming and yelling at them from the opposite side as the coach. Sub some parents in and out if you have the opportunity.

After this brief game, bring the parents in and (after they have had a chance to catch their breath!) ask them what they heard from the children's sideline. Most of the parents will say that they didn't hear anything. For those parents, we now ask them this question: What do you think your player hears from YOU on the sideline? Hopefully now, the light bulb is illuminated.

For the parents that tell you yes, I heard this or that (usually an instruction on how to play) ask them this: Did this instruction or direction help you in the game? Again, hopefully the lights are coming on with your parents.

The only thing that yelling directions or instructions to a player accomplishes is to distract them from their focus which is playing the game. So that by yelling at our players, all we are doing is hindering them from playing better instead of helping.

This bit of role reversal has been very effective in the couple of seasons that I have used it and has had a very positive impact on most of the parents. Of course some still yell their heads off, but generally it is only positive encouragement rather than instructions or negative behavior.

Hopefully this little exercise will be beneficial to someone out there and reduce the number of screaming, out of control (even if they are well meaning) parents on our soccer sidelines.

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