Coaching Youth Soccer
With Koach Karl Dewazien
United States Soccer Federation 'A' Licensed Coach

Want to know how to coach successful soccer practices and win more games the easy way? Click here!

"Soccer is a Joke!"

Next Survival Show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen
will be dropped in a soccer community for 6 weeks.

Each business person will be provided with
a copy of the state organizations constitution,
and given a roster of 18 players.

Each team will have four and one half competitive players,
four and one half recreational players,
two severely overweight players,
two and one half gifted players,
two whose parents want college scholarships.
two with severe behavior problems.
and one and one half disinterested players.

Each business person must complete practice plans
at least 3 days in advance
with annotations for technical/tactical objectives and
modify, organize, or create sessions accordingly.

They will be required to coach the players,
handle misconduct,
implement modern methods of coaching,
document attendance,
write transfers,
recruit players,
fill out game cards,
write a team newsletter,
compute progress,
complete evaluation reports,
document benchmarks,
communicate with parents,
and arrange parent picnics and meetings.

They must also supervise pre-game field preparations.
In addition,
they will put up nets,
chalk the lines,
check for hazards on the field,
greet the players,
check the players equipment,
check the players stress level,
warm up the players,
greet the referee,
make sure half-time refreshments are there.

They must attend coaching clinics (94 hours),
parents meetings,
club meetings,
district meetings,
state meetings,
Annual General Meetings,
and accompany the players to doctor meetings.

They must also give private lessons to those players who are behind
and strive to lighten the heavy players,
motivate the uninterested players,
find scholarships for the college bound players,
and make 'whole' the half players.

If they are sick or having a bad day,
they must not let it show.

Each practice they must incorporate a 'theme.'
Do a demonstration and give an explanation of the theme.
Do some technical training,
Do some tactical training,
Play one vs. one games,
Play small sided games,
and have a Scrimmage.

They must maintain discipline
and provide
a soccer stimulating environment
at all times.

The business people
will only have access to the golf course on Sundays only,
but will have to stay at the tournament sites if their team qualifies for the
finals.

On days when they have a very long practice,
the business people will be permitted to use the school rest room -
as long as another survival candidate is supervising their practice.

They will be provided with two 40-minute uniform wash periods per week
while their players are at school.
If their equipment (balls, nets, containers,etc.) need repair
they can work on mending these at this time.

The business people must continually
advance their soccer and child development education on their own time
and pay for this advanced training themselves.
This can be accomplished by
moonlighting at a second job
or marrying someone with money.

They must win at least one of three tournaments,
the league title,
state cup,
or a national cup!

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.