November 4, 2008
Fear of Failure Part I by Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
“If you are not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you are not doing anything very innovative.” says Rebecca Weingarten in this great article about the Fear of Failure…
Many Professional athletes are driven by the quest for greatness, thrill of success or the accolades and rewards that come from winning. But others are driven by something else – the fear of failure. Dennis Eckersley (“Eck”) was one of the greatest relief pitchers of all time in Major League Baseball. His former manager, Tony Larussa is quoted with saying “Eck taught me something about fear. Eck tells me he spends the whole game, being afraid. Fear makes some guys call in sick, or be tentative. He uses fear to get him ready for every stinking time he pitches.” Despite his Hall of Fame career, Dennis Eckersley had more than his share of failures on and off the mound. But he is another example of “that, which does not kill us, only makes us stronger”.
To fail is to fall short of success. But if we never experience some sort of failure in the things that we do, how can we truly appreciate the joys of success? When I meet with companies, students or sports teams, I tell them all the same thing – “Mistakes are going to happen and if you are not making any, you are not trying hard enough”. The same holds true for failing to accomplish some goals as that will give you the experience and knowledge to build on next time. Think about cures for disease, do we think they come up with it the first time they try a formula? Think about technology over the years and all the failed products that lead to the innovation for superior products. Although not the athlete that Dennis Eckersley was, I too was driven by fear in sports growing up. I never wanted to lose for the fear of letting my teammates, coaches or parents down. I was (and still am) as competitive as they come but these days I have a much better perspective thanks to years of research, coaching and groups like Positive Coaching Alliance. Did you know that approximately 70% of kids drop out of organized sports by the time they enter high school?
Many Professional athletes are driven by the quest for greatness, thrill of success or the accolades and rewards that come from winning. But others are driven by something else – the fear of failure. Dennis Eckersley (“Eck”) was one of the greatest relief pitchers of all time in Major League Baseball. His former manager, Tony Larussa is quoted with saying “Eck taught me something about fear. Eck tells me he spends the whole game, being afraid. Fear makes some guys call in sick, or be tentative. He uses fear to get him ready for every stinking time he pitches.” Despite his Hall of Fame career, Dennis Eckersley had more than his share of failures on and off the mound. But he is another example of “that, which does not kill us, only makes us stronger”.
To fail is to fall short of success. But if we never experience some sort of failure in the things that we do, how can we truly appreciate the joys of success? When I meet with companies, students or sports teams, I tell them all the same thing – “Mistakes are going to happen and if you are not making any, you are not trying hard enough”. The same holds true for failing to accomplish some goals as that will give you the experience and knowledge to build on next time. Think about cures for disease, do we think they come up with it the first time they try a formula? Think about technology over the years and all the failed products that lead to the innovation for superior products. Although not the athlete that Dennis Eckersley was, I too was driven by fear in sports growing up. I never wanted to lose for the fear of letting my teammates, coaches or parents down. I was (and still am) as competitive as they come but these days I have a much better perspective thanks to years of research, coaching and groups like Positive Coaching Alliance. Did you know that approximately 70% of kids drop out of organized sports by the time they enter high school?
In a study conducted by The Youth Sports Institute at Michigan State a few years back, they listed the top ten reasons why kids quit:
1. They lost interest
2. They were not having fun
3. It required too much time
4. The coach played favorites
5. The coach was a poor teacher
6. They got tired of playing
7. Too much emphasis on winning
8. They wanted to participate in other non-sport activities
9. They needed more time to study
10. There was too much pressure
2. They were not having fun
3. It required too much time
4. The coach played favorites
5. The coach was a poor teacher
6. They got tired of playing
7. Too much emphasis on winning
8. They wanted to participate in other non-sport activities
9. They needed more time to study
10. There was too much pressure
Inspiring drive and determination in our children can lead to success in all they do. But we must be on the constant lookout to ensure it does not lead to dangerous paths or turn them off to things they once loved, like sports. We all want to protect our children from pain but just like when they were learning to walk and may have been afraid, we all fall down and fail sometimes. But this is how we learn and it makes reaching our goals taste that much sweeter.
Check back next week for the continuation of this interesting article.
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