Coaching:Helping Children Fail Successfully Part III by Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA

Here is Part lll of this great article on changing failure into a positive learning experience….

I talked a bit about changing the term "fear of failure" to "fear of learning nothing from failure" and outlined a first step for approaching this attitude change and asking yourselves questions about your thoughts and reactions to failure. I was amazed at the email and session comments and questions. Hmmmm, can you imagine? Just about every single email mentioned a failure that hit you very hard. Of course they did. You wanted something, you worked toward getting it, you imagined your life after it and it didn't happen.

I loved hearing about how you reacted and why. The ways in which it moved you forward or sometimes kept you stuck. But enough about you for right now. Let's talk about you and how your reactions to failure affect how you interact with the children in your lives when it comes to succeeding. Most of you asked for specifics: How-to deal with competition, success and failure.

Quick Start Coaching Tips for changing "fear of failure" to "fear of learning nothing from failure".

1. Begin the dialogue before the event. Discuss the different outcomes as you are working with your child toward the goal. Use the following questions as an outline for the types of conversations you might have.

Note: Use an intro to talking about it that is most comfortable for you. You can use the internet to surf ways to practice or get information on the topic together, the drive to and from practice, the dinner table, going out to a movie,lunch or shopping together for some special-together-time. Whatever works for you.

* Would you like to win/get _____?
* Why do you want to win/get _____?
* What might happen as a result of winning/achieving?
* Do you know anyone who has ever won/finished/gotten ______________?
* Do you know anyone who wanted to ____________ but didn't?
* How can you prepare to achieve it?

Check back next week for the rest of this interesting article and learn how to turn your failures into positives….