Insist on healthy coaching for young athletes By Dennis O'Brien

(Dennis O'Brien is a licensed clinical social worker, experienced educator and therapist who writes educational materials for the Washington University School of Medicine Department of Psychiatry.)

Organized team sports for children swiftly turn toxic when undisciplined parents are allowed to live out their own fantasies through their children.  It's worse for preteens. Because they are sponsored by parent volunteers, club sports lack the structural hierarchy which somewhat protects high school sports from parental excess.

I once saw a parent storm across the basketball court to slap his son for not playing up to his expectations. I intervened another time when a father decked a teammate of his child for upstaging his son. The most apparent symptom of troubled parents is vocal rage. Screaming at players, coaches, referees and their own children poisons the atmosphere and increases the chances of physical violence.

The situation is even worse when coaches - often parents themselves - behave like this.  Parents must ensure that their young athletes participate under coaches who stress the developmental aspects of sports and can manage unruly parents.

Here are some basic questions about coaches to explore while networking with other parents:

- Does the coach place short-term victory above the long-term gains that come from nurturing the developmental needs of all the players on the team? This creates a hyper-competitive atmosphere that brings out the worst in parents and athletes. It also damages the self-esteem of young athletes and drives many of them out of sports altogether.  According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports, 70 percent of young participants quit a sport by age 13 because of this type of behavior by coaches and parents.

- Does the coach encourage all the players on the squad or only the best? Because children mature at different rates, a developmental approach is essential.  Coaches obsessed with winning are easy to spot; their favorites are always featured, and other children are not given opportunities to develop their skills.

- Does the coach teach and praise the efforts the children are making, or does he criticize or even berate their performance? 


Check back next week for the continuation of this informative article on healthy coaching of young athletes….