Coaching youth sports is a challenge. Most of our kids are really happy to have us step up to the plate and coach and, despite the time we give up, most parents find the experience equally rewarding. However, there are some major things that every coach needs to do and understand before they start the season: 1) coach with the proper attitude; 2) coach with the proper fundamentals; and, 3) learn and teach the difference between the 'Dad Hat' and the 'Coach Hat'.

Coaching the Right Attitude:  We all love our kids and, let's face it; we also love playing sports with our kids. For me, it's the way that I spend most of my free time and it is right up there as one of my favorite things to do. That being said, I also need to realize that statistically, none of the kids that I coach will ever play professional sports, nearly all of them will not play sports in college, and many of them will not even play varsity sports in high school. So, what does this mean for us as a coach? We need to emphasize all the other aspects of sports and the life lessons that make us love playing the game. Mostly, we need to make the experience fun!

In 1988, Robert Fulghum wrote the book 'All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten'. I've often told people that you can learn everything you need to know by playing sports ' especially youth sports. Many of the same lessons apply, but on an even bigger scale where kids learn success and failure, wining and losing, sportsmanship and teamwork, and how to respond in many pressure situations. None of these are easy lessons. Winning with grace is just as hard to teach as losing with dignity. How can you do this and make sure that everybody has a great season? That's the trick.

Every team you ever coach, especially teams with younger kids, will be split between kids that are talented and kids that are not. The goal that you have as a coach is to make sure that every one of those kids has a great experience and wants to play again next year. I take the most pride in the job I did as a coach when the worst kid on the team loves the sport and keeps playing year after year. The way that I do this is to emphasize things other than on field performance ' I try to stress effort, trying your best and hustle.

There are several practical things that you can do to emphasize these 'other' characteristics. In basketball, for example, instead of emphasizing and keeping stats for scoring, keep stats on hustle, picks set, good defense, rebounds, filling a lane, or just being in the right position. After every game, point out something positive that every kid did during the game. Award a point for each time a kid does something you emphasize and give stars or sew on patches when points are accumulated. You'll see that these kids will do anything to get a star on their uniform, even pay attention in practice!

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The Performance Pyramid

Although each of the nine skills is important, its primary importance will occur during one of three phases: long-term development, immediate preparation for performance, and during performance itself.
Level I - These mental skills constitute a broad base for attaining long-term goals, learning, and sustaining daily practice. They are needed on a day-by-day basis for long periods of time, often months and years.
Level II - These skills are used immediately before performance to prepare for performance. They maybe used just before competition begins, or immediately before a specific performance action, such as a golf shot or a free throw in basketball.
Level III - These skills are used during actual performance behavior.

Detailed Descriptions of the Nine Mental Skills
1. Attitude Successful athletes:Realize that attitude is a choice.  Choose an attitude that is predominately positive.
View their sport as an opportunity to compete against themselves and learn from their successes and failures.
Pursue excellence, not perfection, and realize that they, as well as their coaches, teammates, officials, and others are not perfect.  Maintain balance and perspective between their sport and the rest of their lives.
Respect their sport, other participants, coaches, officials, and themselves.

2. Motivation Successful athletes: Are aware of the rewards and benefits that they expect to experience through their sports participation.  Are able to persist through difficult tasks and difficult times, even when these rewards and benefits are not immediately forthcoming.  Realize that many of the benefits come from their participation, not the outcome.

3. Goals and Commitment Successful athletes: Set long-term and short-term goals that are realistic, measurable, and time-oriented.  Are aware of their current performance levels and are able to develop specific, detailed plans for attaining their goals.  Are highly committed to their goals and to carrying out the daily demands of their training programs.

4. People Skills Successful athletes: Realize that they are part of a larger system that includes their families, friends, teammates, coaches, and others.  When appropriate, communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs to these people and listen to them as well.  Have learned effective skills for dealing with conflict, difficult opponents, and other people when they are negative or oppositional.

5. Self-Talk Successful athletes: Maintain their self-confidence during difficult times with realistic, positive self-talk.
Talk to themselves the way they would talk to their own best friend.  Use self-talk to regulate thoughts, feelings and behaviors during competition.

6. Mental Imagery Successful athletes: Prepare themselves for competition by imagining themselves performing well in competition.  Create and use mental images that are detailed, specific, and realistic.  Use imagery during competition to prepare for action and recover from errors and poor performances.

7. Dealing Effectively with Anxiety Successful athletes: Accept anxiety as part of sport.  Realize that some degree of anxiety can help them perform well.  Know how to reduce anxiety when it becomes too strong, without losing their intensity.

8. Dealing Effectively with Emotions Successful athletes: Accept strong emotions such as excitement, anger, and disappointment as part of the sport experience.  Are able to use these emotions to improve, rather than interfere with high level performance

9. Concentration Successful athletes: Know what they must pay attention to during each game or sport situation.
Have learned how to maintain focus and resist distractions, whether they come from the environment or from within themselves.  Are able to regain their focus when concentration is lost during competition.   Have learned how to play in the “here-and-now”, without regard to either past or anticipated future events.  Application of the Nine Mental Skills to Non-sport Performance Situations

The nine mental skills associated with athletic success are the same mental skills associated with performance in a wide variety of non-sport, performance situations. Let’s take a look at some of these Characteristics of A Performance Situation:

The situation is often scheduled or anticipated in advance.
The situation usually has a defined beginning and an end.
The circumstances are known in advance.
The rules and constraints are known in advance.
The results are evaluated by standards (or natural consequences) that are usually known in advance.
The results are uncertain and may involve psychological risk and/or danger.
The results are important to the performer.
The performer’s behavior is goal-oriented.
The results are influenced by the performer’s skillful behavior

At the Ohio Center for Sport Psychology we help people develop the important skills necessary for high-level performance in sport and non-sport performance situations.

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You don’t have to be a professional athlete or an Olympic champion to be a successful athlete. Nor do you have to have a room full of trophies, win a state championship, or make the front page of the sports section. Successful athletes that I’ve worked with include an eleven year-old figure skater who has not yet won a competition, a high school golfer with a zero handicap, a middle-aged runner whose goal is to complete her first marathon, a weight lifter who holds several world records, and an Olympic medalist.

What these athletes have in common is that their sport is important to them and they’re committed to being the best that they can be within the scope of their limitations – other life commitments, finances, time, and their natural ability. They set high, realistic goals for themselves and train and play hard. They are successful because they are pursuing their goals and enjoying their sport. Their sport participation enriches their lives and they believe that what they get back is worth what they put into their sport.

There are nine, specific mental skills that contribute to success in sports. They are all learned and can be improved with instruction and practice. At the Ohio Center for Sport Psychology we work with serious athletes of all ages and ability levels to help them learn and sharpen these important skills.

We believe that our work is worthwhile because the same mental skills that athletes use in achieving success in sports can be used to achieve success in other areas of their lives. A Brief List of the Nine Mental Skills of Successful Athletes:

1. Choose and maintain a positive attitude.
2. Maintain a high level of self-motivation.
3. Set high, realistic goals.
4. Deal effectively with people.
5. Use positive self-talk.
6. Use positive mental imagery.
7. Manage anxiety effectively.
8. Manage their emotions effectively.
9. Maintain concentration.

Mental Skills Training

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There are many different aspects in being a sports coach as you have to make sure your athletes putting on their best performances and your team as well as each individuals being successful at their sport. Being a coach means you are a teacher one minute and become a motivater the next. Coaches who are successful at their job are those who can well manage the balance and cover all the areas that are expected from the athletes and themselves.

Teaching the skills and strategies will be an important part of the job as you'll obviously have to teach your plans and tactics to your team and individuals so that they know what they are and are able to act upon them when they need to in a game or competition. A good teacher is able to engage their students and inspire them so some coaches may have different teaching methods from others, some may teach by talking or reading whereas others will have practical exercises that may help to make their instructions clearer.

A team will need a leader and the coach is often put in this role whether they are barking orders from the sideline or setting a positive example for their team members. You should be inspiring your athletes to victory but this doesn't necessarily mean yelling at them for getting something wrong, instead explaining where the individual or team went wrong and showing how they could avoid this from happening again is going to be more of a meaningful lesson and ensure the team learn from their mistakes.

Setting an example is important especially when coaching children as they will often imitate those they see around them or professionals in the sport. If your team are showing bad habits or poor sportsmanship this is not only a poor reflection on the team but also yourself as the coach, many spectators may believe that these actions have been taught by you so it is important to not only coach your team with strategies and tactics but also conduct and professionalism.

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"Everything about youth sports seems to have become so serious and complicated."  Multimillion-dollar professional contracts have turned youth sports into more than just a game for some parents, who are spending thousands of dollars on training.Sometimes I wonder how my 40-something generation ever survived our childhoods.

Seatbelts in cars were the things you stuffed into the back of the seat so you wouldn't have to sit uncomfortably on them. Nobody wore a helmet while riding their banana-seat bicycle, and the helmets we did wear for hockey weren't much more than a margarine bowl with a chin strap and one of those useless little mouthguards attached to it.

Sometimes we even had to lose at sports … and there were games when we'd get our butts kicked. But as long as one of the parents brought in a tray of Cokes after a hockey game or had popsicles after a baseball or soccer game, life was great - even if you lost. And if a loss did hurt - or even bring you to tears - the pain never lasted very long.

I was thinking about all this last week after reading a National Post article about an Ottawa youth soccer league that introduced a rule stating that any team that wins a game by more than five goals will lose by default. The rule replaces the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer League's five-goal mercy regulation, whereby any goals scored beyond a five-goal differential would not be registered. The league has 3,000 kids enrolled, ranging in age from 4 to 18.

The Post reported that under the new rules "coaches of stronger teams are encouraged to deter runaway games by rotating players out of their usual positions, ensuring players pass the ball around, asking players to kick with the weaker foot, taking players off the field and encouraging players to score from farther away." I'm in favour of mercy rules in youth sports to prevent total blowouts and keep the fun in the game, but giving a team a loss because it won 6-0 or 7-1? Telling kids to play with their weaker foot? I don't get it. And I don't understand why everything about youth sports seems to have become so serious and so complicated over the years, and why so much importance is placed on the final score - who won, who lost, and by how much.

Sure, winning is great … but losing shouldn't be the end of the world in youth sports - even if the final score is 6-0. It's just a game. But I think the multimillion-dollar contracts in professional sports have changed things over the years and turned youth sports into more than just a game for some people. These days you have 8-year-old hockey players spending more time on the ice than the Canadiens, and if a young kid shows promise at one sport, that sport becomes a year-round commitment, whether it's summer hockey or indoor soccer during the winter.

With that comes the expense of extra ice time, special camps, professional coaching, etc. Some parents are making a huge investment of time and money in their kids' sports - which can make it become a serious business.

The Hockey News wrote an article on Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane a couple of years ago, estimating that his parents spent $250,000 U.S. over the years to help their son develop his skills in the minor-hockey ranks while growing up in Buffalo with power-skating drills, extra ice time, equipment, etc. Kane, the No. 1 pick at the 2007 NHL entry draft, is earning $875,000 U.S. this season and last December signed a five-year contract extension worth $31.5 million. His parents' investment obviously paid off, but I wonder how they'd feel if Kane didn't make it.

With that in mind, it was refreshing to hear the father of Taylor Hall, who could be the No. 1 pick at this year's NHL draft, talk about the importance of the old-fashioned backyard rink.

"It's hard to be a hockey player without a backyard rink," Steve Hall, a former Canadian Football League player and former member of Canada's bobsled team, recently told John MacKinnon of the Edmonton Journal. "There's no question, that's where the kids learn." Taylor Hall told MacKinnon about the happy memories he has from his childhood on the backyard rink. "It was a great experience," he said. "You get a sense of what you can do when no one's watching, that's when you develop your skills. It's got to be part of the reason why I'm the player I am today, for sure."

When I was speaking with the Canadiens' Mathieu Darche recently, I asked him what advice he had for young players with a dream of one day making it to the NHL. "I would tell them if you believe in it and you put in the effort to achieve it, good things happen. I would also tell them all to stay in school, too, because there's not even one per cent of players that make it," said Darche, a 33-year-old hockey journeyman who has a business degree from McGill University and hopes to land a management job in hockey after he hangs up his skates.

That sounds like good advice to me.  When it comes to youth sports, I think sometimes as parents it's not a bad idea to take a step back and just let kids be kids … even if they lose.  I think they'll survive.

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Coaches must be concerned with the development of their players both on the field and off the field. In order to build strong young girls who can stand on their own 2 feet in life, we can leverage the insights from the field of positive psychology and specifically appreciative intelligence. Appreciative intelligence in girls youth soccer can help you build the emotional strength in young girls that they need to compete on the soccer field, in school and in life.

Appreciative intelligence simply means that we choose to focus on the positive elements of our most successful experiences as individuals and members of the team. By focusing on these areas we set the tone and shape the agenda for the emotional development of our players. By emphasizing the positive we ensure that we don't backslide into thoughts of negativity and regret.

Appreciative intelligence has a long history of success in many different areas of business, government and education and is a proven technique for getting the most out of your people and your teams. It began with studies of the emotional reselling its emotional intelligence found in high performing entrepreneurial enterprises and business startups and has broadened into a wider appreciation of positive psychology.

Try this technique after your next game and see if it doesn't work wonders on your teams attitude, whether they won or lost. Gather your players in a circle and ask each one of them to think about their favorite memory on a positive note about one of your other players. By doing so, each person is emphasizing the positive and each person gets to hear their friends and teammates praising them for something that they did that was worthy of recognition.

I've tried this dozens of times after games and we invariably finish the experience on such a high note that it carries us through the rest of the week and into the next game. This positive result occurs whether we won or lost. We all leave the field with a very positive feeling and of thankfulness for the quality of the members of our team who we support and to support us in good times and bad.

Give it a try and see if appreciative intelligence will work for you in the same way.

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Coaching youth soccer drills and nurturing teamwork spirit is not an easy task for a youth soccer coach. This is something every youth soccer coach should be aware to ensure his success. You must be aware that the game of soccer is a team sport and is ruled by the combination of efforts of all players.
Sometimes the most talented players are used to worry only about themselves and that can harm the harmony of the group and also the success of the team. Such teams and players have a low success rate.

The definition of teamwork starts when each player understands that he is part of a team. This represents that each kid has his own contribution to the team, and all are important in equal parts. Another important aspect to consider is that you should praise the all team when things go well and blame them all too when things go wrong. Teach your team to look at mistakes as a team’s error and not as a Player X or Y mistake. No one is free to make a mistake.
Develop teamwork by getting everyone involved and not by ignoring some kids just because they are shy or do not have good skills. Do a few simple activities that would encourage the team to work together and be involved- though they don’t have to be friends, everyone does need to understand that the team only works when everyone is involved.

Make sure you are aware of some people that may have the intention to break your team’s spirit by making other people’s minds against each other. Make sure you deal with this right away and don’t let it spread like a virus. Make sure you let your players know that they can have a word with you at all time if they need or if they have some concern.

Keep the motivational levels of your team high by letting them create some kind of winning dance or song that they can perform before games. Having team badges or shirts is another great way to kindle the spirit of belonging among your players. If you see your players off the field wearing their team badge or shirt, you can be sure they have plenty of team spirit and are proud of it.  Make sure you are persistent and implement some of these tips when coaching youth soccer drills.

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How is your sports relationship with your child? Are you supporting your child in their sport the way they need to be nurtured? Do you understand your child’s sport experience? Do you create an environment that helps develop your child through their sport career? As founder and President of The International Mental Game Coaching Association I certify coaches, coach kids and adults and consult to parents, coaches and officials. I continually hear about parents who make numerous mistakes in their desire to achieve sports success. I’ve been coaching for over 35 years and have seen these issues up close and personal. Take a look at these common mistakes parents make with their child’s sports experiences. How many of these would your child say you make? How many of these can you avoid making?

As President of The International Mental Game Coaching Association, one of my goals is to spread the concepts of mental toughness and self-coaching throughout the world. I want children to become more self-reliant, have higher self-esteem, make better decisions, learn better judgment, manage their stress, engage the zone in performance and achieve to their full potential.

So here are the 20 Mistakes Parents Make With Their Kids In The World Of Sports:

1. Lecturing their child about the sport’s techniques and strategies when they never played the sport, or played at a low level.

2. Criticizing, judging or lecturing their child about their performance under pressure when they themselves have never competed, or competed at a low level, and do not understand the pressures of competition.

3. Failing to create a supportive, organized environment the day of competitions.

4. Treating officials and staff with less than full respect.

5. Rushing their child’s early sport technique development, when that should be the slowest, most careful period of all, to gain solid fundamentals that last a lifetime, which don’t need to be corrected later in their career.

6. Placing unwanted pressure on their child by framing competitions as being “Must win”, “Can’t lose”, “An important event”, “Critical competition”, and the like.

7. Pushing their child into a sport or competition before they are ready.

8. Failing to see the value of sports lessons as preparation for life itself.

9. Allowing their child to get away with poor behavior by making excuses for it, or by failing to exert parental standards.

10. Failing to match their child’s sport choice to their temperament, sensibilities, talents and values.

11. Projecting their own insecurities, worries and nervousness about their child’s performance onto their child, especially before a competition.

12. Not allowing their child to own their sport experience, and thereby learn from their mistakes, and instead doing everything for their child.

13. Performing a post-competition analysis sooner than their child would like it.

14. Asking “Did you win?” after a competition, rather than saying something that carries less pressure.

15. Failing to listen and to allow their child to process their feelings after a difficult practice or stressful competition.

16. Smothering their child, by hovering around every sport activity their child attends, from practices to training session to competitions (known as being a Helicopter Parent).

17. Failing to support or respect the coaching staff.

18. Displaying poor sportsmanship.

19. Failing to be a role model for the behaviors they want their children to display.

20. Taking it as personal criticism when their child makes requests for them to modify their parenting behavior.

So there you have it, the 20 mistakes sports parents make with their kids. Check back next week for anothe great coaching article.

Parents trust soccer coaches with the well-being and development of their children by becoming role models and authority figures. A positive soccer coach can create lifelong positive effects. Unfortunately, abusive coaching in youth soccer can cause great damage to soccer players, with negative effects that stretch far beyond the field of play.

Bullying
Bullying can come in verbal, mental or physical form. Bullying is defined as an intentional, repeated, hurtful act. In a report on bullying, college soccer coach Dr. Michael Giuliano stated that, sadly, coaching is one of the few professions where verbal abuse is still considered acceptable. It is seen as motivational by many coaches to yell and show disrespect, and some even reduce players to tears, taking pride in their toughness. But where does the line exist? The role of a soccer coach is to get the best performance out of a player; if verbal attacks ruin the confidence and mindset of a player, then it is unsuccessful and can be seen as bullying. Physical bullying such as grabbing and pushing players to incite a response is also dangerous ground for coaches. Basketball coaching legend Bobby Knight found this out when he was subjected to an NCAA investigation after appearing to grab an Indiana University athlete by the throat.

Effects
Dr. Stephen Joseph conducted a study on bullying effects in 2003 through the University of Warwick. Joseph reported that verbal abuse can have more impact upon victim's self-worth than physical attacks. Rather than the desired effect by coaches of toughening up young players, abusive coaching in the form of verbal bullying has been shown to cause significant levels of post-traumatic stress disorder in 33 percent of young people. Abusive coaching in youth soccer can also have negative physical effects. A 2007 study performed through Penn State University by JoLynn Carney found that levels of coritsol, the stress hormone, were elevated in the saliva of children who had been bullied recently and those who expected to be bullied in the near future.

Chronic Damage
The more the act of bullying is repeated through abusive coaching in youth soccer, the greater the damage. As well as loss of confidence and enjoyment of the game, more long-term and damaging impact will occur. Carney's 2007 study reported that repeated exposure to stressful events is linked to chronic fatigue syndrome, greater chance of injury, chronic pelvic pain and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Lets remember that the kids are trying to have fun - lets help them reach this goal. Check back next week for another great coaching tip.

I have written about this before, and I believe that every player needs and deserves a teaching-coach in the early years. Each skill needs to be broken down into building blocks, where the level of difficulty can be raised as the individual grasps and possesses the skill before moving on. A coach can make a big mistake thinking that all players are capable of grasping the same lesson at the same pace as every other player. It doesn’t happen in the classroom so why would we assume the playing floor is somehow different?

One of the big problems in youth programs is that qualified teachers are rare. Often, youth team coaches try very hard to do the best they can with limited knowledge. They may have little or no playing or teaching experience. Our most skilled coaches, who could possibly be the most effective teachers, come into the picture later on in a player’s career. By then, many incorrect habits have been set and coaches don’t have the time, personnel or perhaps the desire to back up and re-teach skills.

Too often, youth coaches are not thinking beyond the current season while trying to make winners of the players he/she has now.  No thought is given to the players’ development for the future.  When a coach thinks like this, it is selfish and coming from pure ego.  The child is not important – only the coach’s vision of success.  This kind of thinking hurts the children in the program and continues to give youth sports a black eye.

In my many years of coaching and directing youth sports, I was witness to these kinds of coaches.  For this reason, I joined with many other coaches, parents, youth sport administrators and understanding individuals around the world to advocate that youth sports be for the youth – not for the adults.

Show me a basketball coach, parent or program administrator who believes that youngsters under the age of 11 should use a regulation ball or regulation rim height, or who advocates pressing defenses and zone defense at a young age and I’ll show you adults out of touch with reality. They do not understand anything about child psychology and are in a program like this for their own selfish motives.  These adults are ego-driven, more concerned with winning than with child/player development.

Check back next week for the continuation of this great coaching article.